How to lose a guy (and find yourself) in 10 days
- savannahdarby6
- Mar 7, 2025
- 4 min read
A Rowdy Guide to Soul Searching Post Breakup
By: Savannah Darby
Credit: How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
As 2024 came to an end, so did many relationships. From celeb divorces to high school not so sweethearts, 2025 didn’t come to play and the trend doesn’t seem like it’ll be dying down anytime soon.
So, the real question we’re left to answer is, “How the fuck do you ACTUALLY get over a breakup?” News flash: the answer is not downloading (or re-downloading) Hinge.
I know I definitely had no idea what to do when I too fell victim to the breakup epidemic. That's why I’m here to provide the comprehensive guide I wish I had.
How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days may be a rom-com, but Andie was definitely onto something. 10 days is the golden number, whether you’re trying to get a guy to leave you or trying to get over the fact that he already did. For my baes dealing with the latter, I’ve got it down to a science: 3 days to wallow + 7 days to soul search = 10 days to find yourself after a breakup.
Phase 1: The Wallow Period
Three days of embracing the suck that is getting dumped. I’m talking full fledged rotting in bed, listening to sad music, crying, crying some more, blowing up your friends' phones, stalking his profile, and writing in your notes app. You might think it's unhealthy, but I say eat junk food, don't wash your face, wear his hoodies, look back at all the pictures, make a breakup box, and, most importantly, feel your feelings. The first step to getting over something is going through all the emotions, including the sad ones. Three days is just long enough to mourn the relationship you lost without getting caught in a spiral you can’t get out of.
Phase 2: The Soul Searching
So, you’ve made it through the Wallow Period and now you're wondering what's next. Well, allow me to introduce the Soul Searching: the most difficult yet crucial days following a breakup, in my very professional wink wink opinion.
You’ve started to accept your newfound singleness, and have become accustomed to the bed rotting and Ben and Jerry's ice-cream. Misery does love company, and what’s more miserable than a newly single 19-year-old girl and a doomscroll/sweet treat combo?
That’s where the soul searching part comes into play. Here’s how to use it to break the cycle and get you started on the path to your new single era.
Step 1: Embrace No Contact
It is a bitter pill to swallow, I know. But, trust me, you cannot focus on healing when you’re still talking to (or stalking) the person who broke your heart. When one door closes, another one opens… unless you’re stuck between two doors. By not allowing yourself the space to move on you’re just robbing your future self of the ability to find all the better things that are out there waiting for you. So hit that block button!
Step 2: Get the Fuck Up
Get out of bed, change your sheets, take an everything shower, and tidy up the mess that has accumulated over the last three days. Tidy room, tidy mind. Put on your favorite outfit, do your hair and makeup the way that makes you feel the most beautiful, and get out of the house. Research supports that spending time outdoors and in the sunshine helps improve your mental state and aids your circadian rhythm!
Step 3: Ditch the Sad Music
Cut the Taylor Swift, Gracie Abrams, Phoebe Bridgers, and turn off that breakup playlist. The music and media you consume really does affect your mood and overall feelings of happiness. This is supported by actual psychological studies! Opt instead for some hype music you can dance and sing to while you get ready, or a podcast. My personal recs are On Purpose with Jay Shetty, Moments with Lexi Hidalgo, and any YouTube video by the Wizard Liz!
Step 4: Pick a Hobby
One of the biggest struggles in newfound singledom is feeling empty or incomplete because of the free time you weren’t used to having. Fill this time with hobbies, not Hinge, and definitely not with breaking no contact. It is time to embrace the things you used to do for fun, or the things you’ve always wanted to try. Sign up for a class at a local art or fitness center, go on a day trip with a friend, read a book, or learn how to cook or bake your favorite recipes. The internet can be your best friend or your worst enemy after a breakup, so choose early to use it for things that will make you feel better, not worse.
Step 5: Get in the Gym
Being active and getting your heart rate up releases endorphins that are scientifically backed to relieve anxiety and boost your mood. You don’t need to become a gym influencer, but eating the right food and moving your body daily will make you look and feel better. Build that revenge mind and body that he’ll never get to touch, and soon enough you'll find yourself forgetting why you were even so upset in the first place.
Step 6: Buy a Journal
The notes app is a sanctuary, but an actual, physical journal that you write in with a pen is even better. Reflecting on yourself is a healthy way to process the big feelings that are inevitable during the stages of a breakup, and you can learn so much about yourself in the process.
My dear Rowdy baddies, I wish you all the best luck on your soul searching journey to getting over that evil ex. Remember that it’s his loss always, and you are SO much better off. It gets easier with time, I pinky promise. Just follow these steps and remember to be kind to yourself along the way.
Savannah Darby is a freshman majoring in Art History and Psychology because she has no idea what she wants to do for the rest of her life- so here she is writing articles to pass the time! If not writing, you could probably find her with her nose in a book and her earbuds in at a coffee shop, or out and about spending time in her Soul Searching phase.