Why Audiences Loved Serena but Feared Blair: The Likability Trap for Women
- Paige Venable
- 4 hours ago
- 5 min read
Blair Waldorf was never the villain…she was just better at the game.
By: Paige Venable
Anyone who knows me knows that I love and adore “Gossip Girl.” What do I love most about the show? Blair Cornelia Waldorf.
Blair Waldorf is one of the most misunderstood fictional characters of all time for a multitude of reasons. To me, she will forever be “Queen B.”
However, this article isn’t about why I love Blair. While I could write an entire book about why I adore her character, this article tackles a bigger issue that the show illustrates, one that perfectly translates to real life.
What is that issue, you may ask?
We, as a society, have normalized viewing powerful and confident women as a threat.
To those who have never seen “Gossip Girl,” let me give you some context. Blair Waldorf is a teenage girl who lives on the Upper East Side of New York City. To some, she has the perfect life. Blair takes a limo to and from school, lives in a penthouse with a hefty price tag and owns a closet that exists only in our dreams. However, Blair’s life is far from perfect.
Amongst the many things that contribute to Blair’s dark reality, especially in season one, the root of her problems is a lack of familial stability. Her mother, who she lives with might I add, is somehow more absent than her father who lives abroad. Her mom is the first to critique every single thing she does, despite Blair’s endless attempts to make her proud. Oh, and to make matters worse, Blair’s father left them to pursue his own romantic relationship…in France.
This lack of parental support allows viewers to understand Blair on a deeper level. She may be broken on the inside, but she continues to portray herself as confident to the public. In a sense, her ambitious exterior becomes a shield that helps her disassociate from the reality she lives with at home.
Blair’s powerful personality isn’t well-received by the people around her, and her ambitious behavior is ultimately frowned upon. Conversely, Serena van der Woodsen, the frenemy of all frenemies, is portrayed as being the “It Girl” who has every man chasing after her.
Blair and Serena’s friendship proves to be invincible, but there is a sharp contrast between their personalities. Blair is blunt and direct, with a work ethic like no other. When she sets her eyes on something, nothing and nobody will stop her from getting her way. Not to mention, her unconditional loyalty is one of her many positive traits.
On the other hand, Serena is an effortless “It Girl” who gets everything handed to her on a silver platter, while never working a day in her life. She somehow manages to always be the victim in every scenario and escapes accountability like it’s her job.
But who cares? Serena is just soooo awesome and likable, right?
The same girl who audiences love and adore abandoned her family without saying goodbye and attempted to sabotage Blair’s dreams of attending Yale. If you think these things are bad, this barely scratches the surface of Serena’s questionable actions throughout the show.
So after all of this, why is Blair constantly portrayed as the villain?
From my perspective, the writers envisioned Serena as the woman that every young girl wanted to be, and the person that every man only ever dreamed of being with. Her soft exterior allowed audiences to excuse her chaotic and impulsive actions. She is the “damsel in distress” that every man is supposed to save.
Meanwhile, Blair is made out to be a conniving and evil woman who is too ambitious for anyone to handle. In Blair’s defense, a majority of the time, her actions were out of revenge. While I agree that she had a tendency to go the extra mile, she never did anything without a valid reason.
Most viewers tend to miss a key point when analyzing this aspect of the show. Audiences jump to the conclusion that Blair lived to scheme and make other people pay for their actions. In reality, she didn’t do this because she wanted to. Rather, she felt that she had to. It was a way for her to survive the toxicity of the Upper East Side. Her scheming was her way of coping.
Blair had to play tough and remain assertive in order to be taken seriously. However, that came with a price. Her calculating nature essentially made her a threat.
Unfortunately, this dynamic mirrors real life. Women are expected to make themselves “likable” and accommodating — they’re supposed to be like Serena. But, if you choose to be a Serena, you give up your hopes of being a leader.
If you act like Blair, you’re viewed as evil and malicious, even though men can act the same way and will most likely be met with praise.
The concept that women have to adjust their behavior to fit society’s expectations was further explored by Alicia Mendez in her book, “The Likeability Trap: How to Break Free and Succeed as You Are.” She emphasizes the confusing standards that society places on women regarding their behavior, both in the workplace and in their personal lives.
In 2019, Mendez went on the “It’s Been a Minute” podcast while promoting her book. During the episode, she emphasized the complex nature of this idea. As women, we’re expected to act a particular way to appease a larger group of people. If we go against society’s expectations, our behavior is frowned upon.
During the podcast, Mendez stated “...I also want to get to the third trap, which is the success penalty trap, which is that the more successful a woman becomes, the less likable she is just because.”
Her ultimate goal with this book was to encourage women to be their true and authentic selves without worrying about fitting society’s mold. If one tries too hard to meet everyone’s expectations, they are bound to lose touch of their true self and identity.
The likability trap is evident in “Gossip Girl,” as Blair and Serena are on two ends of the spectrum. Women can choose to be assertive and determined like Blair, but they have a higher risk of being viewed as a threat. On the other hand, they can choose to be like Serena and be adored by all, but taken seriously by none.
Given the striking parallels between “Gossip Girl” and real-life standards for women, I hope you all have come to the conclusion that the power is in your hands. You can either be a Serena and adjust your personality to society’s desires, or remain confident in your true self like Blair. There was a reason she was named “Queen B” after all.
To conclude this article, I’d like to share some of the most iconic Blair Waldorf quotes:
“Forget boys. Keep your eyes on the prize.”
“Destiny is for losers. It’s just a stupid excuse to wait for things to happen instead of making them happen.”
“Nothing’s holding me back anymore. I know what I want and I’m gonna get it.”
“I would never put my fate in someone else’s hands.”
“She likes to see the best in people. I like to see the truth.”
Oh, and my personal favorite…
“You can’t make people love you, but you can make them fear you.”
XOXO,
Paige
Paige Venable is a junior studying accounting with a minor in public relations. When she’s not busy with school work, she loves rewatching her favorite tv shows, online shopping and going on walks!
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