The Ever-So Elusive Green Flag

Let’s not just talk about the toxic traits, let’s recognize some good ones too

(InertiaCreeps // Creative Commons)

Society is so focused on the negative, especially in relationships. We need to focus on "green flags," as opposed to just red flags, so we can notice healthy indicators in relationships and not only toxic ones. So what exactly are these mysterious green flags? Green flags show that your partner is emotionally available and the relationship is headed in a healthy direction, unless you’re dating a sociopath.


Much like red flags, green flags are typically right in front of our noses and are easy to ignore. The majority of men I discussed this topic with responded with something along the lines of “hmm... I wouldn’t know much about any of those…”. This 1. Speaks volumes about the men I am speaking to and 2. Poses an entire new question: is knowing you’re a red flag, actually a green flag? If anyone has a strong opinion regarding the matter, bang my line. Regardless of my messy dating life, here are some of my very own green flags I keep an eye out:

  1. Treats the women/men in their life well (good relationship with sisters/mother, brothers/father etc.)

  2. Does things that they know you like even if it is not their favorite activity (I.e going on a walk together)

  3. Walking on the street side of the sidewalk when they are walking with you

  4. Remembers when your exams /big events are

  5. In touch with their feminine side (and masculine) (I.e they dance/dress well and take care of themselves)

  6. Eye contact/not touching their phone excessively when you are together

  7. Not having a social media presence

  8. Low snap score (Trust me)

  9. They ask you if you want to aux/ show a genuine curiosity in what your interested in

  10. Eat fruits/vegetables

  11. Nice to waiters/waitresses and people working service jobs (uber etc)

  12. Texts/ FACETIMES/ Calls as opposed to Instagram DM/SnapChat

  13. Only calls/facetimes you when they can devote the majority of their attention to you

  14. Gives space when mingling with friends

  15. Doesn't only ask about going out/tries to see you outside of the bar atmosphere

  16. Similar music taste/doesn't exclusively listen to hardcore rap OR country

  17. Isn't constantly bringing up their ex-partners or yours

  18. Is able to say how they feel and can compassionately communicate and reciprocate feelings

  19. Goes to therapy (so unrealistic)

  20. Ambition/drive

  21. Still friends with their high school friends

  22. Thrifts

  23. Willing to step outside their comfort zone with you (i.e trying new foods, going to different music events, hanging out with different groups of people)

  24. Willing to hang out with your friends, not just their own

My particular list is solely based on my experiences, but I know you guys can relate; You know a keeper when you find one. These are just a solid list I look for in a guy that will tell me he is not in fact a serial killer, but rather an eligible bachelor.