Pretty Sure I’m Faking It

A reflection on the inescapable imposter syndrome experienced by college students

By: Danielle Farrell

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Credit: Franziska Barczyk

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Have you ever found yourself laying awake at night, staring at the ceiling, pondering if you are worthy of your achievements? I can confidently say that I have been in that situation more times than I can count. 

Imposter syndrome is defined by The National Library of Medicine as a behavioral health phenomenon that consists of self-doubt of intellect, skills or accomplishments among high-achieving individuals

As a student at a prestigious collegiate university, it can be easy to catch myself doubting my merit due to the academic standing of my fellow students. Attending UF means that I am surrounded by peers that consistently appear more talented, intelligent and put together. 

My psyche becomes inevitably damaged by constantly believing that I do not deserve to be a student at the University of Florida. There is isolation in the change of being less unique due to the nature of the school’s requirements to attend. Every student possesses the qualities to study at UF and it can feel like I have lost my high school distinctiveness that granted me admission. 

I consistently have the peculiar feeling that I am on the outside of a big inside joke among my peers. I feel like I missed out on something and everybody else has the secret to getting life right. 

This affliction translates to alienation and the cycle of unworthiness continues, perpetuating the belief that I am somehow a fraud amongst deserving individuals. 

Despite being successful in classes and becoming involved on campus, I can’t seem to shake my feelings of inadequacy. I find myself discrediting my achievements because I believe I can always excel more like those I am surrounded by. 

I tell myself,“I got that internship because I was the only option, not because I was right for the position.” Or, “I got an A on that exam because it was easy, not because I studied for weeks.” 

The University of Florida’s environment perpetuates imposter syndrome because of the intense culture to strive to the peaks of success. The academic rigor and high expectations almost force students to experience this disorder.

The educational setting of UF is a breeding ground for constant comparison that can eventually evolve into actual imposter syndrome.   

At times, it can even extend past intellectual imposter syndrome and apply to social situations. I have even doubted friendships by virtue of not belonging, letting myself believe that certain individuals are realistically unattainable as true companions because I would not be worthy of their friendship.

The pressure of college is so intense that we feel we must escape to safe places in our heads that actively keep us in a state of despondency. We withdraw our vulnerability into the deep caves of our mind that hold all of our unacknowledged feelings of failure. 

Imposter syndrome could be our brains’ attempt at protecting us from disappointment by preventing us from ever expecting better. 

The UF Career Connections Center even has a blog story entitled, “Conquering the Imposter Syndrome” dedicated to conquering the phenomenon. This is a common occurrence. 

But how do we tackle this? How does one convince their malicious mind into believing they belong? 

First things first—acknowledge your feelings. Imposter syndrome is real and extremely common. According to “Understanding Imposter Syndrome and How to Overcome It - NAMI North Carolina,”, about 70% of the American population has, at one point, experienced imposter syndrome. It is important to remember that we are not alone. 

Find ways to reassure yourself. Ground yourself with tangible evidence of your authenticity. Remember that your accomplishments and your status do not in any way amount to your worth as a person. Surround yourself with honest love.

Although I still struggle with this syndrome daily, I find that it can be helpful to take a step back and appreciate the good that you have. When you remember that prosperity can be fleeting, it becomes easier to live in the present. 

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Danielle is a new Rowdy Magazine writer and has experienced her fair share of imposter syndrome. Can you tell?