Sexuality is not just about sex.
( Marie S. / Unsplash)
A common misconception exists that queer women are more accepted than queer men. I mean, lesbian porn is so popular for a reason, right?
This, my friends, is false. Fetishization and acceptance are not the same and it's important that we recognize the difference. You can and should accept other people's identites; The fetishization and over-sexualization of women-loving women (WLW) however, is belittling, gross and it promotes homophobic ideas. and should never be promoted.
Media representation of WLW is lackluster, to say the least. In 2019, GLAAD reported that of 110 films produced by major studios, only 20 films included LGBTQ+ representation. Of those 20 films, 11 included lesbian characters. We can definitely do better.
When WLW are represented in the media, all too often it’s under a hyper-sexual lens created for the male gaze. Sex sells, and when appealing to straight men using queer women’s bodies, things can become pretty repulsive.
Take movies such as Blue is the Warmest Color. It features a 10-minute long, grossly inaccurate sex scene. It’s painfully obvious that the scene was designed from a male perspective and for a male audience. As a whole, the main characters’ relationship was over-sexualized to the point of low-quality pornography.
Contrary to popular belief, WLW are not perpetually horny harpies who scissor each other every chance they get. Queer women in the media do not exist solely for jerk-off material.
WLW are often reduced to women who just haven’t found the right man yet, as if attraction to women is entirely defined by sex. Many straight men think that it’s impossible to not desire heterosexual sex if they’ve never tried it before.
To straight men: How would you know if YOU don’t like dick if you’ve never tried it before? Is it because you haven’t found the right man yet? Or is your sexuality not defined by experience but by whoever it is that you’re attracted to? Oh. That’s what I thought.
And as for men who strictly consume lesbian porn for fear of being attracted to porn with a man in it: your internalized homophobia is showing. Trust me, enjoying porn that has a penis in the shot doesn’t make you gay. Fearing the mere image of male genitalia due to homophobia only exposes deep insecurity and sexual immaturity. It’s okay to be aroused by the type of intimacy you prefer.
Reducing queer women from human beings to objects only meant for pleasure just perpetuates the idea that WLW relationships are inherently more sexual than straight ones. Queer women deserve to see themselves portrayed on-screen in an accurate way. They also deserve to be celebrated with the same level of purity as straight relationships.
So don’t be weird. Treat WLW with proper respect and learn to recognize and reject blatant over-sexualization.
Christelle Pierre is an Online Writer at Rowdy Magazine. When not writing, one can find Christelle holding a YA novel in one hand and an iced coffee in the other. She can be reached on Instagram @x.hristelle