Olivia Rodrigo has Seven Grammy Nominations and my Screen Time is Nearing Seven Hours

No really, how can a person know everything at 18 and nothing at 22?



CREDIT: Instagram/@oliviarodrigo

 

Remember when Taylor Swift put Phoebe Bridgers on a track and together they read me to absolute filth? Trust me, I try my best to forget.


In other, less depressing news, the Recording Academy announced last November that Olivia Rodrigo was nominated for seven Grammy Awards in 2022! These nominations include Album of the Year, Song of the Year, Record of the Year and Best New Artist. If you’re keeping track, that’s a nod in each of the Big Four categories — the second-youngest artist to ever do so (after Billie Eilish, of course).


Circling back to the gloom and doom, the Grammy’s, originally scheduled for the night of January 31, have once again been postponed in the name of the pandemic.


While the Recording Academy thought it was saving the biggest names in music from the Omicron variant, it was actually just saving me from the unavoidable existential breakdown. I might be skating by on borrowed time, but at this point, I’m just going to take whatever I can get.


Imagine me, home for the holidays, legs crossed in my childhood room as I listen to Rodrigo’s name get nominated over and over again by a slew of guest presenters and Recording Academy representatives. Hold on, didn’t this girl just get her driver’s license last week?


Don’t get it twisted, I’ve spent an ignominious amount of time streaming “Sour” since its initial release last May, and my Spotify Wrapped definitely suffered the consequences. It was angry and edgy if not just completely relatable. You’re right Olivia — I’m not cool, I’m not smart and I definitely have no clue how to parallel park.


“Sour” flawlessly makes a lark of the misery of heartbreak, so it’s no surprise that the artist behind it deserves seven Grammy nominations. But as I sat surrounded by an army of plastic awards from my childhood (largely YMCA participation trophies), I couldn’t help but think, “Did I miss the chance to do something amazing?”


Seven Grammy nominations is an incredible feat for any artist, but that’s not even the most nominations for this specific Grammy cycle. Jon Batiste was nominated for 11 awards, but at the big age of 35, why does this accomplishment suddenly seem obsolete?


It’s an ode to the way society is rapidly outgrowing itself, becoming “decrepit and talentless” by the age of 20. Why do I have the overwhelming fear that everything I create and everything I accomplish from now on won’t matter because I’m no longer in my golden years of youth and novelty? As that twosome of sick blondies would say, it’s “the kind of radiance you only have at 17.”


When I was 18, I really did know everything. I was graduating high school, I knew where I was going to college and I knew exactly who I wanted to be and what I wanted to do. I was an overachiever painstakingly planning my future as a way to escape my present. Everyone patted my head and told me I was bound to do great things, and I was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.


But what started as a little passion and a lot of hope quickly turned into the feminine urge to accomplish everything I want in life by the time I turn 25, like every year after 20 has become an ultimatum of now or never.

To end my latest semester with nothing but some missing Canvas assignments and questionable attendance grades was a blow to my ego to say the least. Instead of toting a Nobel Peace Prize (or seven Grammy nominations) around like I pictured, I come bearing way too much information about which outfit Harry Styles was wearing on each night of “Love on Tour” and the ability to recite most TikTok sounds verbatim. Even though I haven’t graduated college or even reached legal drinking age, why can’t I help but think that people are going to lose interest in me if I don’t do something absolutely groundbreaking by sunset tomorrow?


We’re all getting older with each day that passes, so can’t we all agree to just cut each other some slack? Let’s stop giving young adults expiration dates before they’ve even gotten the chance to discover the world, and more importantly, themselves. I think we can all learn something from the Recording Academy this year. If the biggest night in music can be postponed, surely you’re allowed to slow things down. Time really isn’t of the essence, and some of our greatest accomplishments might just take a lifetime to achieve.


 

Averi Kremposky is the current social media director at Rowdy Magazine. If she's not messaging you on Slack, she's most likely submitting to a new Taylor Swift album theory, making her fifth coffee of the day or scribbling ideas on Trader Joe's receipts. You can contact her (and send her song recs) at averikremposky on Instagram