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Do you miss your ex or is it just Valentine’s Day?

Being surrounded by love can make you feel lonely, but is it worth it to reach out to an ex?


From the sappy posts showing off significant others on Instagram, endless aisles of heart-shaped whatever in Target, and the fact that we’ve had to avoid most forms of human contact for almost a year now, it’s easy to feel lonely around Valentine’s Day.

It’s even easier to feel lonely if you just called it quits with a partner and are now being constantly reminded of it. The thought of getting your own “I love you so much, baby” post and enough chocolate to put you in a coma, may have you debating whether or not to reach out to that old flame.

Before sending that I miss you, let’s get back together text, it’s important to consider if you actually miss the person or if you’re just getting swept up in the emotions around you.

Loneliness is at an all time high in this pandemic, especially for young adults. We’re used to being surrounded by people, going out with friends, and physically and emotionally connecting with others.

This loneliness can be amplified by declarations of love pouring out from every possible source. So, it’s especially important to remember that you have love coming from a multitude of places, as well. Reaching out to friends and (safely) getting together with them can be a great way to alleviate these feelings.

If you’re still missing your ex, there are a number of things to consider before reaching out to them. How and why did the relationship end? We’re there red flags even before the breakup? Is the idea that a second go-round will be successful just false hope?

If the relationship ended on good terms, or you simply just drifted apart there may be no harm in reaching out and trying again. If the relationship was toxic the first time, your partner was in any way abusive, or post-breakup your ex has been a dick then run far, far away from any thoughts you have of them.

Remember, Feb.14 is just one day. It may be nice to be with someone to celebrate love, but a single day is not worth going back to a bad relationship.

It’s hard being alone on Valentine’s Day. I did it for 20 years and I can say from personal experience that sometimes all you want is to be shown some affection — and maybe get one of those ridiculously large teddy bears. But, wanting affection doesn’t mean settling for someone who has shown they can’t provide you with the love you deserve.


Rachel Kutcher is a Staff Writer at Rowdy Magazine. She loves the rain, candles, fancy cocktails, collecting jars and New Girl’s Nick Miller. Her passions include destigmatizing sex, empowering women and exploring cultures through food. You can reach her at for more info.

1 Comment

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