Hi, FBI Agent! Did you like my TikTok?
(From left to right: @nuhchez and @elrodcontreras / TikTok)
Last week, there were rumors of TikTok getting banned. Gen Z was terrified, seeing that TikTok is a platform this generation uses to communicate. The same day rumors spread that TikTok would be banned in America, the app glitched. (The universe sure does love to play tricks on us, huh?)
My precious algorithm of alt girls, witches and Debby Ryan memes was gone. The glitch only lasted 30 minutes, but it was the worst 30 minutes of my life. The fact that every single user of the app recognized the glitch within five minutes… is concerning. Are we OK?
The U.S. wants to ban TikTok to stop the Chinese government from getting ahold of our data. Now, this may scare the boomers and millennials, but Gen Z could literally not care less. We already talk to our FBI agent through our phone camera, you think we care about the Chinese government knowing we are on beans TikTok?
Trust me, all the Chinese government is gonna get out of stealing Gen Z’s data is search histories that include: “How to throw it back like Addison Rae” or “How to manifest skinny indie boy.”
During the glitch, I was put on straight TikTok. I was scared and alone… I didn’t see any cute skater boy TikToks or @emmwee. Instead, I was forced to swipe through Tony Lopez and cringey POV TikToks.
During the glitch, people took to Twitter. TikTok getting banned would be tragic, but that doesn’t stop Gen Z from cracking jokes about it.
Even if TikTok gets banned from the U.S., we will still find a way to get on the app. Whether that means moving to Canada or hacking the system, the government will not stop us.
Although the government blames this ban on the “safety of U.S. data,” my guess is that Trump is a little butthurt that alt TikTok sabotaged his Tulsa rally. And we will do it again, even if TikTok is banned. See, the app is what brings this generation together. We make inappropriate jokes, go randonauting, and dream of living out our cottagecore lives. This app is where we get inspiration for new music, clothing and much more. If the government takes away TikTok, we will just find another app to embarrass ourselves because we don’t care!
The thing to take away from all of this is that Gen Z’s are savages (sassy, moody, nasty). We will do anything in our power to keep TikTok alive. We already had Vine taken away from us in 2016, and won’t give up TikTok without a fight. This app’s for Gen Z — and the occasional Millenial.
So, keep on learning TikTok dances, because as of now, TikTok isn’t going anywhere.
Hannah Engel is an Online Writer at Rowdy Magazine. Her simple pleasures include playing Animal Crossing, online shopping, and taking care of her plants. She’s passionate about fashion and travel. You can reach her at firstname.lastname@example.org