One Direction Turns Ten Today And I Want To Die
The Rowdy Magazine Team reminisces on their… questionable Directioner simp days. Spoons, anyone?
(@onedirection / Instagram)
Imagine: It’s 2014. You’re getting ready for school.
Baby Lips? Check. Victoria Secret PINK perfume sprayed ALL over your popped-collar polo shirt from Justice? Check. #Hazza pins embellish your bright blue Jansport bookbag, showing the world who your favorite member is.
“Y/N, come downstairs!,” your mom yells from the kitchen.
“Coming!” you say, running down the steps, thinking breakfast is ready. You eat Nandos every morning.
Suddenly, you see five… I mean four… tall British boys standing in the doorway.
“Y/N, meet your new masters. I sold you off to them,” your mom says.
You gasp. You realize what you’re seeing….
It’s One Direction’s New Flop of a Video Tribute!
To be honest, the video sucked. I’ve seen fan Vine edits better than iHeartRadio’s messy clip. Although we didn’t get anything quality to celebrate #10YearsOf1D, for a brief moment, the internet seemed whole again.
Ahh yes, the Stan days have caught up to us. 2020 has been a shitstorm –– we really don’t have to spell it out for you at this point.
But once again, the British Lads of One Direction have come to save the day, 10 years after they first came together as a band on the UK’s X-Factor.
Although they never officially “broke up,” the band has been quiet since announcing their hiatus in 2015. That is, until now.
Despite slip-ups, fights and scandals, Harry, Louis, Niall, Zayn and Liam dominated the music scene for years. They led to the resurgence of the boy band and became one of the most successful music acts of all time, following the likes of the Rolling Stones and the Beatles.
Not bad, right?
Like many of you, the Rowdy Team grew up idolizing One Direction. We ran Stan accounts, read After (and the sequel!), made sassy pastel edits of our boys; You name it, we did it.
From Kevin the Pigeon and those itty bitty yellow shorts to #CutForZayn and the endless war between Directioners and Modest Management, our staff looked back at all the 1D moments that defined our lives and shaped pop-culture for years to come.
Oh, and also how hardcore we were.
Limpy had his moments. Who can forget about the water bottle being thrown on stage? Or the shoe? Poor guy. But we have to give it to him –– this yellow fashion look really made a statement. Limpy’s best dressed, even.
We all remember EXACTLY where we were when these photos of Harry Styles and Taylor Swift going on a date in Central Park dropped. Me? I was in third period science, thank you very much.
The short-lived romance gave us songs from two incredible albums (1989 and Harry’s debut self-titled), and shocked the world. Suddenly, we were all wearing paper plane necklaces and chunky scarves. Those were the days. Let's not forget however, some Directioners still think the two lovebirds were set up by 1D’s Modest Management group to dispel Larry rumors. Which leads me to…
WHEW. Prepare to go down the rabbit hole.
For those of you who weren’t in the deepest, darkest pits of Tumblr back in the heyday, meet Larry Stylinson –– our modern day Romeo and Juliet.
Fans speculated for years that the bandmates were more than just close lads, with dedicated YouTube videos and Tumblr pages dishing out evidence that they were dating during the height of their career. Hard core Larry stans blamed Modest Management for keeping the boys in the closet (even though Louis has come out to deny the rumors, in a very Straight White Cis Male fashion).
A girl can dream though, right?
4) Shaving… Erm… Everything In Case You Were Called Backstage
After you picked out the perfect outfit on Polyvore (That’s a name you haven’t heard in a while), it was only tradition for you to be primed and plucked for the boys’ security guard to personally escort you backstage after your favorite boy made eye contact with you… from the nosebleeds.
Looking back, the thinking pattern was HIGHLY problematic, but if the Wattpad smash hit fanfiction After taught us anything, it was that we were into the dangerous and wild side.
5) The Sassy Pastel Edits
If screen time reports were around at the time of the 1D hysteria, PicsArt would DEFINITELY be at the top of our lists.
Let’s face it, you had one of these on your cracked ass iPhone 4. These wallpapers were like “Days Of The Week” underwear –– you’d change them every 24 hours.
And if it didn’t have a candy heart that said “Ugh!” or “Not Ur Bae,” was it really an edit?
6) Zayn and All Of His Misfits
Ah, yes. The traitor.
Boy couldn’t dance, but he could make millions of girls around the world cry all the time. Whether it was departing for a solo career, being caught smoking pot in the back of a van or breaking our hearts by calling off his engagement with Little Mix’s Perrie Edwards, Mr. Malik was a rollercoaster of emotions.
His solo career was… decent, although we can’t ever forget the Twitter beef with Louis and Naughtyboy. He’s a dad with a top model now, so good for him.
But if you saw me crying over Zayn leaving 1D during religion class, no you didnt <3.
7) The Adventurous Adventures of One Direction
Whose idea was this? Genuinely curious. The only thing I remember from these cartoons were the Tac-Os cereal that Harry ate. I’m SICK.
You may roll your eyes now, but you KNOW you wanted to be Y/N so bad. Don’t lie. The way thousands of us legitimately read these as FACT.
If you need me, I’ll go back to my hibernation in search for more content. Also, Tell Me A Lie is their best song. Don’t argue with me.
See you on the flipside.
Ana Escalante is Rowdy Magazine's Editor-in-chief. She likes podcasts, comfortable sneakers and yelling about being a Capricorn. You can reach her on Twitter @AEscalante22 or email her at firstname.lastname@example.org