You’re not being “quirky”, you’re being a misogynist.
(From left to right: @tamiablue, @indiaamoon, @emilyodesser / Instagram)
So you want to be a “cool girl”? You want to show the world how unique you are? You want to express your distinctive personality and bring your special qualities to light?
News flash: You can do that without putting down other women.
Who knew? The phrase "I'm not like other girls," can actually be pretty harmful. And, it usually hurts the traditional "basic" girl the most.
Take Tiktok’s shade on the “Lululemon Girl”, for example. The Lululemon girl archetype — often referred to as basic — is typically "traditionally" feminine, high-energy and popular. She might carry around a hydroflask or a Starbucks drink and she might collect scrunchies.
And there’s nothing wrong with that.
Yes, it might be basic. Yes, it might be stereotypical. But fitting a certain stereotype is not inherently harmful, so long as someone doesn’t use it to attack those who prefer to stray away from it.
So why are people so pressed about it?
It’s a product of internalized misogyny, in which women display misogynistic attitudes or opinions geared towards other women. It can stem from repressed memories of young girls wanting to be part of the majority, and harboring secret resentment because of that.
It can also be chalked up to competition for the male gaze.
Being different from other people makes one more noticeable and in some cases, more desirable. Pop culture especially perpetuates this in movies, where the girl who rejects femininity gets the guy.
A video by The Take explains the idea well: The girl who’s “not like other girls” and can just be like one of the guys, often gets the guy.
Why are women subtly throwing each other under the bus for attention? It’s so much more beneficial to uplift other women, basic, alternative, or somewhere in the middle.
Regardless of stereotypes, women being their genuine selves deserve to be supported. That goes for feminine women, masculine women, and those who fall somewhere in between.
You like wearing pink? Go ahead! You like buying frilly skirts and collecting scrunchies? That’s fine! You like typically “girly” things, not for male attention but for yourself? That’s perfectly okay.
We need to stop shaming women for their mode of expression.
While it may temporarily make you feel better about yourself, snickering behind a Lululemon girl’s back only highlights your own insecurity and hurts someone else in the process.
Are you feeling personally attacked? You should be.
Don’t be shy, give a girl a compliment today ;) Chances are you’ll make her day and she may compliment you too!
Bottom line: If your instinct is to poke fun at women for their interests — feminine, butch or whatever they may be—, you need to realize that you’ll gain more confidence from uplifting each other rather than tearing each other down.
C’mon ladies. Get it together.
Christelle Pierre is an Online Writer at Rowdy Magazine. When not writing, one can find Christelle holding a YA novel in one hand and an iced coffee in the other. She can be reached on Instagram @x.hristelle